The Serenity Secret

We all like to believe that we can do anything. That anything is possible and so forth. But there are some things which we have to, no matter how much we may want otherwise, accept as unalterable truths. We try to live in denial, of course. But that hardly is the solution. We need to face the reality as it is if we are to live in peace. It is too short a life to be spent in regret over things that are unattainable.

The serenity prayer is: “God give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

And it is not a defeatist philosophy. It is what I would call a philosophy that is rationally optimistic. Accept the things that you cannot change. It takes a lot of strength to do that. And not every one of us can gather that strength. One has to be brave enough to see things as they are and not paint one’s own rosy picture. A rosy picture that is nothing more than an illusion of the mind.

Not that illusions are all bad. Sometimes they can be very helpful too. What seems like an illusion today may well be tomorrow’s reality. But then again, one has to be wise enough to know the difference between a good and a bad illusion. One has to ask if they are taking us forward or keeping us imprisoned in some static state of mind? A state of mind that is not really progressive.

There are so many things in life that need our attention. Things we do have control over. Things that we can influence and change. But if we start to shift our focus from those things that we can do something about to things about which nothing can be done, then we are being ineffective. Ineffective, irresponsible and, frankly, we are simply wasting our time.

I know that saying something like this goes against the norms of normally appreciated gung-ho talk. The 'can-do-it-all attitude'. But truth is the truth. And it can either be accepted and lived with or denied and fought with. The ego inside us encourages us to do the latter. But if we are to live in peace, if we are to allow focus on our circle of influence, the bitter truth must be swallowed. And bravely so.