Say

Let me start by telling you something about an American President who is slightly less known than the others who have occupied the same position: President Calvin Coolidge. Coolidge had many beliefs. One of them was that whenever he spoke, he got in trouble. He said, "I realized that no difficulty comes if one does not speak". Once having been surrounded by the media, he gave only one response to whatever he was asked, "No comments". After getting out of the crowd and chaos, he turned around the journalists and said, "Whatever I said is between you and me and please don't disseminate the same outside." This he said even though he had not really said anything. At a ballroom party once, he was challenged by a lady that she would make him speak at least three words during the party and Coolidge answered, "You lose".

Osho says, "People mostly say what they never intended to. Which is very strange, of course, saying things that you never wanted. Ninety nine times out of hundred, it is others who make you speak...your mind which is your instrument of thought has no relationship to your speech. Your speech has become mechanical."

The sages of the Upanishad days have a prayer which says, "May my speech abide in my mind." It means that there should be nothing in my speech which is not there in my mind. My speech should truly express me...I should be authentic.

And I couldn't agree more. Non-conformity to people's false expectations is important so we can unleash our true self before the world. However, an introverted approach doesn't help. One has to be able to open up and say. It helps in building rapport and expressing ourselves and thus allowing all our opinions and feelings to find a healthy outlet. We have a voice and it had better be made heard than be kept quiet. It's one life and our uniqueness should be allowed to influence the world around us. That is possible only when we speak up. So say.

John Mayer's song, "Say" works for me as a huge inspiration whenever I want to let out something I have been working around in my mind for long. I have attached the video below for you to watch and listen to...

Another inspiration I have received is from a recent meeting our training team had with our business heads at Wipro where I am a Voice Coach. Our Business Excellence Head, Subhasish talked about how he brought his two teams who were working on the same project in a room and asked if they had each others' phone numbers. They didn't! None of them...then Subhasish asked how often they interacted with each other offline...once a week/month or quarter...? They didn't have an answer to that either. In order to improve their level of interactivity, Subhasish asked them to visit him at 4 every afternoon for some training. When the teams entered, he would play a video or something and then ask the two team to discuss the same with each other while Subhasish sat behind his desk working. The discussion, the interactivity born out of it was the training. Subhasish said that he needed to do the same for two weeks...three weeks and thereafter it would become a habit and the teams would interact without being prompted to do the same. Unless there is interaction between the team members, how can the team grow? How can the team have fun working together until they even know each other? Interaction, opening up to each other was key to doing the same. For that they needed to say something...anything. Subhasish said that when the team goes for an outing it is not the food that we are looking at, it is the interaction.

We can learn a lot about ourselves and others when we say things. We do fear opening up because there are risks involved...will we be received well? Will the others be equally open and receptive? Will we be misinterpreted? But in the long term, as John Mayer says in his song,

"Know you would be better off instead

if you could only

say what you need to say

say what you need to say".